“We are all Waiting for Something”

Waiting. We are all waiting for something. Waiting for healing, intervention, answers, release, restoration, and relief.

The word “wait” according to Google is described as;

• stay where one is or delay action until a particular time or until something else happens
• used to indicate that one is eagerly impatient to do something or for something to happen
• stay where one is or delay action until (someone) arrives or is ready, and remain in readiness for some purpose.

I love how it says “delay action until (someone) arrives or is ready.  “To me that someone is Jesus. He is the One who has the relief, answers, intervention, healing and release for us. He, in His perfect timing, brings all things to pass in His will.  Sometimes what we need or want may not come to pass, but the Lord always has a purpose for this. It is not done to punish us or cause us harm. It is because He has a greater good, a divine purpose for all aspects of our lives. It is to glorify Him. We are to live our lives glorifying and honoring Jesus.

I have experienced long periods of waiting in my own life. Waiting for answers. Waiting for direction. Waiting for intervention. But it didn’t always come when I felt I needed it to. Other times it didn’t come at all.

It was during these times of wait that God spoke to my heart. I was caught in a family battle and there was a lot of hard feelings. It had caused a deep divide. Hurtful. Devastating. I was immersed in the fallout from all that happened. I was in a spiritual battle.

One night after this began I was struggling to sleep. I felt the weight of the world upon me. I was having difficulty seeing clarity through the veil of conflict and anguish that was shrouding me. I could feel a physical pull upon my soul.

I had the choice of whether or not to respond to my family’s accusations by voicing the truths that laid heavily upon me. My hurt said, “Do it”, my faith said, “Keep quiet”. There is the famous image of having the devil on one shoulder and God on the other. I literally felt this way. Being pulled. The enemy saying, “Let them know how you feel, say it, let it out.” The Lord was quietly saying, “Do nothing.” That was it, two simple words, but spoken with gentle power. The Lord quietly said, “Susan, do nothing.”

I knew then the struggle was over. I would say nothing. I would hold back. I would wait. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was waiting for, or for how long. I just knew I was meant to wait. I held my tongue. I said nothing. I let it go for a couple of months.

Sometime later things erupted again within the family ranks. I sat on my porch fretting. I was conflicted. I asked God what I should do. I was in an internal war, a spiritual war. I needed the Lord’s help. But I needed it right then! I heard His reply, “What is it that you’re doing in this time of wait, Susan?” Wow. What powerful words!

What was I doing in my time of waiting? Was I at peace, trusting the Lord to guide me? Or was I in anguish, biting at the bit to tell my side of the story to my family? Until now I had been quiet, I had obeyed the Lord’s will and did nothing. Until this moment. Until the emotional upheaval began gnawing away at me again.

The thought of, “what was I doing in the time of wait” became my daily mantra. I began to seek the answer to this very question. Any time I found myself in distress, I would ask myself these questions. “Am I trusting the Lord, waiting, and believing that He has already walked ahead of me? Am I believing that His way is the best way?” I would wait. And wait.

Psalm 27:14 (NKJV) Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!

Months went by, and I still hadn’t shared what had been burning on my tongue. Until…the day I decided I needed to write a letter. This brought further misunderstanding and division within my family. I had waited well until I didn’t. In hindsight, I know I let my way get in the way of the Lord’s. I know I let my emotions get the best of me.

Things are better today with my family. It has evolved. But none of it came about because of what I said or did not say. It came because of Jesus, in His way, in His grace, He brought healing in His perfect timing, in His will.

I am awed by His grace and love. I love the lessons I learn from listening to His wisdom and being obedient. (Trust me, I am not always obedient, though I wish I could say I am. I struggle like everyone else.)

It was in this same time frame that I stumbled upon Ann Swindell online. I was honored to have Ann as a writing coach for her courses, Writing with Grace and Writing with Grace Memoirs. You can find information for Ann’s amazing courses at Annswindell.com/writing-services/.

Ann shared with our class that she was writing a book about waiting.  I eagerly waited for the release of her book in April 2017. I also had the great honor of being on Ann’s launch team for “Still Waiting”. What a blessing! The book is amazing! It spoke to my soul. It caused me to question some of my thinking and beliefs. Ann Swindell is a faith-filled, passionate, kind, talented, and generous young woman. She is a warrior for Christ!

“Still Waiting” answers the question of “What if God wants you to wait?”. Ann’s story of waiting is interwoven with the Bleeding Woman from the bible. She shares her journey of waiting for healing from Trichotillomania, an impulse disorder in which you pull out your hair.

Ann speaks from such a vulnerable, authentic, and raw place, highlighting God’s grace throughout her story. Ann shines the light on the promises that are hidden in the ache of waiting.

Ann draws you in and walks alongside you on her journey of waiting. It is like sharing coffee with a dear friend. Intimate and spirit filled.

One of my favorite snippets from the book is, “Waiting often pushes our buttons. It pushes our buttons of anxiety and shame. It pushes our buttons of weakness and worry. In all those places, waiting asks us if God is still good and if he really sees and loves us. It pushes our buttons of identity and worth. Hope is the glass wall covering those buttons, providing protection for our hearts while we wait. Although it may get walloped and slammed against, hope is the antidote to despair, and it’s the only way to live through prolonged seasons of waiting without losing our faith or our sanity.” By Ann Swindell from Chapter 10 of “Still Waiting”.

Ann Swindell’s book really spoke to my own seasons of waiting as she exposed her own. She shares how at times we feel our prayers are going unanswered, but also how our prayers are always heard. Her words really resonated with me and I felt drawn into her story and that of the Bleeding Woman. Ann speaks in a very relatable way, with compassion and kindness. I believe this book is a good fit for each one of us because we’ve all experienced those seasons of waiting in our lives. Ann Swindell has written an outstanding book and I have been truly blessed by it.

 

Ann Swindell is a Christian author and speaker. She holds a Master of Fine Arts degree in Creative Writing from Seattle Pacific University as well as a Master of Arts in Writing from DePaul University. She went on to teach writing at Wheaton College for five years. Teaching writing is Ann’s dream job. She has been writing professionally for nine years and has written publications for Relevant, {in}courage, Today’s Christian Woman, Darling Magazine, Deeply Rooted, Ploughshares, Weavings, and others. She has also been featured in multiple publications including The Gospel Coalition.

Ann teaches Christian writing classes online within her business Writing with Grace. You can find more information at Writing with Grace Courses. I have had the honor of taking two classes from Ann and learned so much from her. She is an amazing teacher and her faith and passion shine through!

Ann can be found on her website at annswindell.com. She states “And if you want to know what makes my heart beat fast, it boils down to five things: the love of Jesus, my dynamite husband, my sweet daughter, the written word, and laughing together around the table. I catch glimpses of heaven in these things every day, and I’m deeply grateful for these gifts that the Lord has given to me.” Beautiful words by a beautiful soul.

Ann’s amazing book “Still Waiting” is available for purchase at Amazon, Target, Lifeway, Books A Million, Barnes and Noble, and ChristianBook.com.

I have been blessed by Ann Swindell’s beautiful book “Still Waiting.” I hope you decide to treat yourself and read it, I believe you will be richly blessed by it as I was.

Blessings to you,

Susan